My Sweetie Blog. . . (4/05) Her journey to the Rainbow Bridge

~sharing my heart and soul~

(the following are e-mails I sent to my friends and family on one of my most challenging days in my life)

E-mail: 4/11/05 9:00 AM


graphic by Unknown
(This stationary popped in my inbox...someone sharing it....)
 these were my thoughts as I shared my grief...
*sigh*
this reminded me my cat is dying....she is so frail and she is 20 yrs old this year.  I had a horrible day yesterday...just preparing myself.  She is incontinent now...we have to keep her in the laundry room to limit clean up.  She has lost a lot of weight.  She is blind and very hard of hearing.  She barely eats...and sleeps most the time.  Her breathing is shallow and labored.  I fear the end is near.  I am taking her to the Dr. this week.  I don't think there's anything that can help her now.  She doesn't seem to be suffering....just withering away....I love her so much....
 
here are a few pictures of her from a few years ago...

  
click images for larger view

*sigh*
LH

 

E-mail: 4/11/05 9:00 AM


graphic by Ladyhawk
 I want to thank all of you for your out pouring of support....it has helped more than you can imagine...
 
*sigh*  I talked to the Dr. today....he knows from my details....She is dying a slow death....just the inevitable...we are taking her to let her cross over the *Rainbow Bridge* this afternoon.  *sobs*  I want her to be whole again.  She was the most incredible cat...and I love her so.  Our bond is timeless and  transcends beyond this world.  I want to tell her it's ok.....to let go.  Michael and I are going to hold her.....as she let's go.   It's what is best for her now.  She may be gone from our home, but NEVER from our hearts!
 
:deep sigh:
Lori/Ladyhawk

  

E-mail: 4/11/05 11:30 PM


graphic by Ladyhawk

 

CELINE DION - Fly Lyrics

Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven's love

Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again


Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this

Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this memory bittersweet
Until we meet		 Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me

Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget


Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light

 

By Jean-Jacques Goldman and Phil Galdston

*SIGH*
 
I want to thank you, again, for all your support.  Many of you have  clearly been through this.  For that I am sorry...I wouldn't wish this experience on my worst enemy.  Thank You from the bottom of my Heart! 
This has been very hard to face and accept.  Something came over me this afternoon....something calming and comforting.    Something told me that it is time to lead her to the passage....Michael and I took *Sweetie* to the Dr.'s office and we both went back and had about 5-10 min alone with her prior to the Dr. entering.  So we talked to her sobbing and held her and kissed her.  We told her to it was ok...that she was ready to leave us and with her eyes....she confirmed that. I kissed her for each of my kids and Sushi, as well.  I told her to sleep the sleep of a new born kitten and that when she wakes up she can play to her hearts content. We told her we love her and that she was the best cat that a family could ever have .  We were blessed to have her in our lives for nearly 20 yrs. She looked at us with her big golden eyes as if to say "I'm so tired mommy....can I let go, now?"  I kissed her forehead and told her, "Let go, Sweetie....Mommy will hold you and keep you comfortable....it's ok....Cross Over..."  I asked her to come see me. 
The Dr. came in and was so gentle and compassionate.  She told us that this was the appropriate time and that we did the right thing.  She could see our love and devotion.  She explained what was to take place and asked if we were going to stay.  We both said, "Yes." 
 
Sweetie never resisted or seem stressed, in a matter of a couple of minutes....she was at peace.  Our hearts were exploding.....and tears were flooding.  We held each other desperately and caressed her.  The Dr. told us, 'she has left us'....and I knew she had Crossed.  The Dr. told us to take all the time we want as she exited our room.   We wrapped her up in the towel they provided and stroked her, continuing to express our love and giving her our blessing to go and play. "Sweetie, We love you!"
 
It has taken the better part of the evening for us to collect ourselves and resume life with some normalcy.  Friends and Family support has been abundant....and we feel completely at peace with our purpose in God's plan today. 
 
This midi playing is Celine Dion's "Fly".  A song I have held near and dear to me for many reasons.  It is a tribute to my Feline Angel as We let her go and I know, without a doubt, that she will always be at my side...as she has always been. 
 
 
  She is gone from our Home, but NEVER from our Hearts!
 
feeling incredibly blessed,
Lori
Ladyhawk


graphic by Ladyhawk 

E-mail: 4/23/05 2:48 PM


graphic by Sweet Mary

 
Good Day Gang! 
 
I feel it is time to extend my gratitude to all of you for your loving support.  I managed to struggle through this last week  with less angst as a result of  everyone's thoughtful emails and prayers.  Thank you very much.  I am getting back in the groove and hope to be more creative in the days to come.  I have been working on a page dedicated to my beautiful baby, Sweetie!  More therapeutic and an expression of love than anything else.  I don't suppose it is really for anyone but my family and myself.  But I will still make it public....kind of a memorial I guess. 
    
 
FOR LORI/LADYHAWK TO HELP WITH LOSS OF CAT!!
 
GOD GAVE US HEAVEN
WHERE OUR LOVED ONES WILL STAY
AFTER THEIR BODIES LEAVE THIS WORLD OF OURS 
WHEN THEY HAVE TO GO AWAY!!
OUR PETS, FRIENDS AND FAMILIES
ARE ALL WAITING FOR US THERE
AND EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM KNOW
JUST HOW MUCH WE CARE.
THEY WILL ALL BE HEALTHY
HEALED FROM ALL THAT WAS WRONG,
NO CRIPPLING PAINS, NO AILMENTS
THEY WILL BRIGHT, HAPPY AND STRONG!!
SOMEONE ONCE SAID TO ME
"DON'T BE SAD WHEN I DEPART!!
AS YOU WILL NOT HAVE LOST ME, DON'T FEEL
WE WILL STAY APART,
MY SOUL WILL BE IN HEAVEN AND
I WILL BE WATCHING OVER YOU
I WILL SEE YOUR JOY AND SADNESS
AND MOST EVERYTHING YOU DO!!
THE BEST THING IS WHEN I WATCH YOU
AND SEE HOW WELL YOU DO
I KNOW THAT SOMETIME IN THE FUTURE
I WILL BE BACK WITH YOU!!!"
I REALLY BELIEVE THESE WORDS TO BE TRUE
WE WILL ALL BE MEETING AGAIN.
I HOPE THAT THIS KNOWLEDGE
WILL HELP TO EASE YOUR PAIN!!
 
(C) ShirleyAnn Millard 11th April, 2005
Especially for Ladyhawk

 Thank you ShirleyAnn!

Thank you to all my friends and family, who have shown incredible HEART and compassion.  I appreciated all the emails, phone calls and prayers.  It has made it much more bearable.  I never imagined the difficulty and pain I would  endure losing a beloved pet.  I have a whole new perspective and my heart is healing.  A friend of mine wrote me these words;
"And while losing a cherished member of the family is hard, I try to look past the pain and see an opportunity to meet another soul."
These words gave me a new perspective....I know how lucky we were to be blessed with a wonderful daughter-cat, Sweetie.  I know she was lucky to have us as a loving, devoted, nurturing family.  I feel it is  imperative that we find another beautiful spirit to embrace and offer a wonderfully loving opportunity, as well.  When the time comes, I'm sure we will prospect (as I did in that pet store) for the obvious new member of our family.

In loving memory of our Miss Sweetie,

Lori aka: Ladyhawk aka: Mommy
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